Beware The Dream Toilet
A friend recently approached me with an embarrassing story. I say 'embarrassing' but once you have kids, it's all over anyways and it's much harder to wrap your mind around the concept of being embarrassed. Anyways, my friend admitted to wetting the bed and before she could continue I said, 'Was it the dream toilet??' Our eyes met and she confessed, 'How did you know?!' Well, you can guess how I know. I'm guessing that damn dream toilet haunts the tired worn out mothers of the world. Forever we are in search of toilets, even in our dreams.
And so....I will list more things than I care to that I have done because I'm so flipping tired.
1. Encountered a dream toilet. Side note: I also have to cross my legs when I sneeze.
2. Confessed my love to a Jimmy Johns worker over the phone. Slip of the tongue? Perhaps.
3. Washed the dishes without having any recollection of said chore.
4. Pantry amnesia--standing in front of food pantry with no idea why. This can also happen in front of the fridge, in the car and walking into any room of your house.
5. Running upstairs to get something, forgetting what, running down, remembering, then saying screw it because I'm not running back up the stairs.
6. Hearing babies scream but hitting the internal snooze button and 30 minutes later, rolling out of bed.
7. Passing out on floor while kids are still awake.
8. Washing laundry, forgetting about it, leaving it for a few days, rewashing it and then repeating this cycle 5 times.
9. Answering questions only before long pauses usually while making the noise 'aaaaaaaaaahhhhh' then asking what the question was again.
10. Decided bathing the kids every night is unnecessary.
11. Refusing to change a diaper because it's not ready.
12. Needing Starbucks so bad I have threaten people in my 'witch voice' (Isla's words).
.......I hate to end but I'm too tired to continue. I will be sure to try my best to avoid the ever present dream toilet. You all do the same. Mind over Bladder....possibly another topic.
And so....I will list more things than I care to that I have done because I'm so flipping tired.
1. Encountered a dream toilet. Side note: I also have to cross my legs when I sneeze.
2. Confessed my love to a Jimmy Johns worker over the phone. Slip of the tongue? Perhaps.
3. Washed the dishes without having any recollection of said chore.
4. Pantry amnesia--standing in front of food pantry with no idea why. This can also happen in front of the fridge, in the car and walking into any room of your house.
5. Running upstairs to get something, forgetting what, running down, remembering, then saying screw it because I'm not running back up the stairs.
6. Hearing babies scream but hitting the internal snooze button and 30 minutes later, rolling out of bed.
7. Passing out on floor while kids are still awake.
8. Washing laundry, forgetting about it, leaving it for a few days, rewashing it and then repeating this cycle 5 times.
9. Answering questions only before long pauses usually while making the noise 'aaaaaaaaaahhhhh' then asking what the question was again.
10. Decided bathing the kids every night is unnecessary.
11. Refusing to change a diaper because it's not ready.
12. Needing Starbucks so bad I have threaten people in my 'witch voice' (Isla's words).
.......I hate to end but I'm too tired to continue. I will be sure to try my best to avoid the ever present dream toilet. You all do the same. Mind over Bladder....possibly another topic.
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