Mums the Word

Every generation has tried to pinpoint why the next will fail.  Possibly because adulthood spawns existential crisis and possibly because every generation wants to be the best generation, which is a branch of existentialism in its own right.... In the throws of a migraine my kids are arguing about the usual nothingness. Screams from outside suggest it's over the front seat.  I reluctantly get in the car and ask them to get it together and act like adults.   Then I imagine my grown sister and I fighting over the front seat and what that would look like.  Naturally, I would win.  I've given birth naturally to a multitude of children and I could break her like a twig.  I smile at the thought, then remind myself, they're just kids and this is pretty standard.  I explain I have a migraine and would like them all to keep to volume down.  As they jump out of the car and walk towards the school arguing over a random unopened bag of Jimmy Johns chips the...

If you're raising young girls, or girls of any age, you know there's going to be drama.  Heck, I'm a grown woman and sometimes feel I'm in a Real Housewives episode with some of the grown up drama I see.  So how do we combat this and teach our girls to be Switzerland in the constant hormone war of female dominance?  How do we teach them not to be the mean girl? Well, with all problems, I think we need to identify what a 'mean girl' does so that we can know what not to do. I just did this excersice with my nine year olds.  We had an open conversation about what might be a mean girl thing to say or do and we did some role playing. I said, 'You might be behaving like a mean girl if you.....' 1.  Say, 'I don't want to be your friend anymore.' because you didn't get your way.  Real friends talk about things and work through their problems.  Friends never hold their friendship randsom or blackmail each other.  People comfortable doing th...

'I want a dog!' The one phrase most parents anticipate and dread all at once.  You know it's coming.  It's only a matter of time. However, maybe like me, you think lets get ahead of the game and try to satisfy these people with a low maintenance replacement pet. A fish.  Yes.  They don't take up much room or cost much.  They don't move or destroy things like every other living thing in your house.  The upkeep is minimal and if they die, oh well, you flush them down the toilet and have a cup of tea. Sadly, kids like fish for about a week.  That's the shelf life of excitement on a fish.  Then all the sudden you're scrubbing a bowl weekly, conditioning water and feeding a pet that doesn't have the ability to love.  Lame. After the fish, they will come at you with something else.  For us it was parakeets.  My oldest wanted a parakeet.  But then she said we should go ahead and get two because they do better in pairs.  ...

Every morning my kids ask for candy.  I'm not talking donuts or pastries, I'm talking straight up sugar.  There's probably no difference nutritionally but I'm setting principles for life.  If I let them eat candy in the morning what's next?  Crack?  I hear sugar is a gateway drug.  Just saying. It's not like they need a pick me up either.  They wake up between 5:45 and 6:30 like they've been robbed.  Like something amazing has been happening all night and they have just waisted the last 12 hours.  God help me!  While I avoid giving them sugar before noon, an arbitrary line i've drawn in the sand, I try to get as much caffeine into my system asap so I can ride that roller coaster the remainder of the day until bedtime.  Don't judge, these people shoot out of bed with the sun and immediately start interrogating me about our plans for the day.  I'm not even awake and have agreed to all sorts of things, in hindsight that may be wh...

In a house with four kids, to prevent chaos, there must be rules.  Some rules are a given such as:  No hitting, kicking or biting.  No name calling.  No throwing food at the table (when not at the table, anything is game of course).  However some rules you never foresaw having to make.  Here are some of our ridiculous house rules. 1.  No weapons before 9am!  In fact take all the weapons outside!  Nothing like getting shot in the face with a nerf gun while making your morning cup of tea.  NO!!!! 2.  Don't wipe your boogers or poop on the floor or wall.  If your hands come in contact with anything suspect, please wash them.  For the love of all that is good and decent, wash them. 3.  Don't put your butt in other peoples faces especially if it is naked, no exceptions...unless your married and then you won't have any interest. 4.  No shorts while there's still snow on the ground.  I will just go ahead and hi...

There are so very few people in our lives that love us unconditionally.  They are the ones constantly wondering how they can make our lives better.  Usually it's the people who play a pivotal roll in our upbringing and journey through life.  The ones that teach us the difficult lessons and share the joy in our discoveries.  The ones that journey beside us and lead us through, and to, some of our greatest adventures. These people, with their 'what can I do for you' mentality are irreplaceable. For most adults out there, we've lost a few.  It's the people we think of in the hard times and wonder if they are watching.  Are they proud?... The more of these people we loose, the more we take on their roll.  However big their shoes were, we try to fill them because if they were important to us, then everything that they stood for and believed in was important.  While we will never be them, we will try to be like them. And it will be hard. ...