Nothing before Noon
Every morning my kids ask for candy. I'm not talking donuts or pastries, I'm talking straight up sugar. There's probably no difference nutritionally but I'm setting principles for life. If I let them eat candy in the morning what's next? Crack? I hear sugar is a gateway drug. Just saying.
It's not like they need a pick me up either. They wake up between 5:45 and 6:30 like they've been robbed. Like something amazing has been happening all night and they have just waisted the last 12 hours. God help me! While I avoid giving them sugar before noon, an arbitrary line i've drawn in the sand, I try to get as much caffeine into my system asap so I can ride that roller coaster the remainder of the day until bedtime. Don't judge, these people shoot out of bed with the sun and immediately start interrogating me about our plans for the day. I'm not even awake and have agreed to all sorts of things, in hindsight that may be why I have four kids. I don't even know what day it is until about 8:00.
Breakfast with four kids is nothing short of being a short order chef and waitress combined. In the chaos of children screaming for water, the older children, like the raptors on Jurassic park can sense my weakness. They will now ask me for some sugar. Probably something they have squirreled away in some obscure location of the house, probably a shoe. I will quickly get it together and reply 'Not on your life!' 'No candy before noon!'
Even though there is a system in place it doesn't stop them and the endless questioning: Can I have this lollipop? Can I have dessert now? Can I have ice cream as a snack? Nooooooo! For the love of all that is good and decent!!!!! No!
My favorite part of this exercise is that my kids ask each time like it's the first time and think that I might say yes. While I love that they live in a world where anything is possible, I find it outstanding that they believe, each time, that I may give in. I blame the few times I've been hungover or incapacitated in some way, unable to parent and uttered the words every child longs to hear.... 'Whatever'.
I guess it's a good day when they ask instead of just hiding in the corner and stuffing their faces. What's that? Is that bubble gum?? It's 9am! You have a problem!
I mean I get it. Sometimes I'm having a bad day and I have to hide in the bathroom and eat chocolate cake but it's not a habit and also I'm an adult and can do whatever the frick I want! Plus you don't have bad days, you're a first world kid that pretty much has it made in the shade. You're worst day is me saying no to gas station treats. What I wouldn't give?!
As another day begins, the kids start in, 'What are we doing today?' I take a slow sip of my tea and have a Pinky and the Brain moment where I whisper, "The same thing we do everyday. Try to take over the world!' (Insert evil laugh) Then before they can even ask, I look them straight in their sweet little eager eyes and reply, 'You're getting nothing before noon!'
It's not like they need a pick me up either. They wake up between 5:45 and 6:30 like they've been robbed. Like something amazing has been happening all night and they have just waisted the last 12 hours. God help me! While I avoid giving them sugar before noon, an arbitrary line i've drawn in the sand, I try to get as much caffeine into my system asap so I can ride that roller coaster the remainder of the day until bedtime. Don't judge, these people shoot out of bed with the sun and immediately start interrogating me about our plans for the day. I'm not even awake and have agreed to all sorts of things, in hindsight that may be why I have four kids. I don't even know what day it is until about 8:00.
Breakfast with four kids is nothing short of being a short order chef and waitress combined. In the chaos of children screaming for water, the older children, like the raptors on Jurassic park can sense my weakness. They will now ask me for some sugar. Probably something they have squirreled away in some obscure location of the house, probably a shoe. I will quickly get it together and reply 'Not on your life!' 'No candy before noon!'
Even though there is a system in place it doesn't stop them and the endless questioning: Can I have this lollipop? Can I have dessert now? Can I have ice cream as a snack? Nooooooo! For the love of all that is good and decent!!!!! No!
My favorite part of this exercise is that my kids ask each time like it's the first time and think that I might say yes. While I love that they live in a world where anything is possible, I find it outstanding that they believe, each time, that I may give in. I blame the few times I've been hungover or incapacitated in some way, unable to parent and uttered the words every child longs to hear.... 'Whatever'.
I guess it's a good day when they ask instead of just hiding in the corner and stuffing their faces. What's that? Is that bubble gum?? It's 9am! You have a problem!
I mean I get it. Sometimes I'm having a bad day and I have to hide in the bathroom and eat chocolate cake but it's not a habit and also I'm an adult and can do whatever the frick I want! Plus you don't have bad days, you're a first world kid that pretty much has it made in the shade. You're worst day is me saying no to gas station treats. What I wouldn't give?!
As another day begins, the kids start in, 'What are we doing today?' I take a slow sip of my tea and have a Pinky and the Brain moment where I whisper, "The same thing we do everyday. Try to take over the world!' (Insert evil laugh) Then before they can even ask, I look them straight in their sweet little eager eyes and reply, 'You're getting nothing before noon!'
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