Mums the Word

1.  Are you sure he didn't move? 2.  He looks like he moved a little.  Look, his arms look different. 3.  He must really like that spot. 4.  Flying to the North Pole is exhausting....maybe he decided he was too tired. 5.  Did you touch him??? 6.  I touched him.  I'm sorry, but he was slouching and I thought I was helping.  I'm sure if we leave him he will move tomorrow. 7.  Maybe Santa came here!  How cool would that be?? 8.  Well, we weren't home a lot yesterday.  Maybe he didn't have enough to report. 9.  He's lazy.  Maybe his real name should be Sir lazy-pants! 10.  I dunno, were you naughty???  Did you touch the ornaments on the tree?! You know he hates that.

I'm sitting on the couch half out of it watching all the kids look for that darn Elf on the Shelf, so thankful he actually got up and moved his lazy ass last night.  When they find it and they all start shouting 'He's up there!  He's up there!'.  Even Cora, who is naked (don't ask), is jumping up and down, pointing and shouting just like the big kids 'He up there!  He up there!'  It's one of those moments.  I'm on top of a mountain.  All the kids are precious and I am mentally saving this to my hard drive.  I start thinking about other fun traditions we can start and memories I'd like to make.  I'd love to take the kids skiing because dad and I always had a blast skiing. Once we were on the top of a mountain getting ready to take on the back bowls of Vail and the sun started to set.  It was beautiful and my dad was quick to point it out.  I asked if he had ever seen this before and he said he had but it was better this time.  When I asked

As I reach for the soap, 'OH CRAP! Why can't I move my arm properly?!  I have a damaged wing!  I repeat, a damaged wing!' Where was I? Oh yes, I've noticed I'm OLD. Maybe not necessarily in years but certainly in body and attitude.  I may be 31 but in life years I feel 61, some days older. I've notice my legs feel funny.  Like someone has ripped them out of there sockets then stuck them back in not quite right.  I keep saying 'hip dysplasia' but the fact of the matter is, I think the children have broken me.  On top of that I get sharp pains in random areas that make me jump up, shout and grab the accused area.  Is something biting me?  Are my nerves sending out random messages? What?  But it makes me look straight up crazy.  Luckily, my husband already knows that I am. Everything is falling apart and nevermind my very acute case of Jiggly Butt (this IS the technical term and it IS very serious).  As far as attitude:  I seem to lack patience for