Honestly...

There's a lot I admire about kids and one of those things is their honesty.  They have no idea about  what I'm trying to pull off with this 'look' but they are sure gonna tell me what they think.  I cringe at what they may tell strangers at any given moment.  I'm literally flexing right now just thinking about it.  However, sometimes I think kids are the ones who have it right. 
Recently we went to dinner at the QCC which we haven't done much since dad passed and my four year old says, 'I really wish Poppy was here instead of in heaven.'  In one easy sentence he said something so simple, straight to the point and straight from the heart.  We all agreed and thought that it was awesome that he could just say what we had all been thinking.
Honestly, life makes no sense to me a lot of the time.  Just when I think I have a handle on it and am on top of my game and I have all the answers, I brace myself because I know nothing at all and God is going to beat me over the head with that.
Honestly, I admire the truth and a kids ability to say what they think and move on.  I'm not sad that we can't speak the truth. We can and sometimes do.  What I find sad is the reality of why we don't say anything...
I don't say I miss dad because we all do. 
I don't say I wish he was here because he's not coming back.
I don't say I wish this wouldn't have happened or I don't understand why this happened (which I could say to some of my friends recently) but am clouded with the adult reasoning of it did happen and I can't change it.
So with our adult reasoning we say I'm sorry or worse, nothing at all.
Kids are so awesome because they live in the now.  We, however, fluctuate between past and future trying to grasp an understanding of things we can't possibly understand.  What we do grasp, though, are some of the unfortunate truths lost on children:  That loosing someone is forever in this life and forever can be an awful long time.....Oh to be a child.


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