Old
As I reach for the soap,
'OH CRAP! Why can't I move my arm properly?! I have a damaged wing! I repeat, a damaged wing!'
Where was I? Oh yes, I've noticed I'm OLD.
Maybe not necessarily in years but certainly in body and attitude. I may be 31 but in life years I feel 61, some days older.
I've notice my legs feel funny. Like someone has ripped them out of there sockets then stuck them back in not quite right. I keep saying 'hip dysplasia' but the fact of the matter is, I think the children have broken me. On top of that I get sharp pains in random areas that make me jump up, shout and grab the accused area. Is something biting me? Are my nerves sending out random messages? What? But it makes me look straight up crazy. Luckily, my husband already knows that I am. Everything is falling apart and nevermind my very acute case of Jiggly Butt (this IS the technical term and it IS very serious).
As far as attitude: I seem to lack patience for pettiness, excessive noise and drama of any sort. The disrespect of 'youth' will send me on a 30 minute rant, technology in general (I may have to blog about this separately) is exhausting and I've started coming up with conspiracy theories (eg: Why do people keep hiding/taking my stuff?). I sometimes feel like Kevin Kline in French Kiss at the 'You people make my ass twitch' part. Hilarious, but true. My symptoms are heightened first thing in the morning, when all I want to do is stare out the window with my cup of tea in hand and scowl at the dark dark sky (It's so dark at 6 a.m.) I'm usually not like this. What's wrong with me??
You know when kids are extra exhausting it's because they are either growing or going through some massive brain development? Maybe it's like that and I'm gonna come out the other side of this very wise and funny (and if you're listening God, skinny and better looking). We will see.
Another thing I'm wondering is if my old person 'tude' is due to lack of sleep or 'The Funk'. 'The Funk', by the way, comes from loosing someone you love so much it hurts when you think of them. I'm sure 'The Funk' will not be here forever but I fear I will forever be just a little bit darker.
Maybe that is all part of being OLD.
'OH CRAP! Why can't I move my arm properly?! I have a damaged wing! I repeat, a damaged wing!'
Where was I? Oh yes, I've noticed I'm OLD.
Maybe not necessarily in years but certainly in body and attitude. I may be 31 but in life years I feel 61, some days older.
I've notice my legs feel funny. Like someone has ripped them out of there sockets then stuck them back in not quite right. I keep saying 'hip dysplasia' but the fact of the matter is, I think the children have broken me. On top of that I get sharp pains in random areas that make me jump up, shout and grab the accused area. Is something biting me? Are my nerves sending out random messages? What? But it makes me look straight up crazy. Luckily, my husband already knows that I am. Everything is falling apart and nevermind my very acute case of Jiggly Butt (this IS the technical term and it IS very serious).
As far as attitude: I seem to lack patience for pettiness, excessive noise and drama of any sort. The disrespect of 'youth' will send me on a 30 minute rant, technology in general (I may have to blog about this separately) is exhausting and I've started coming up with conspiracy theories (eg: Why do people keep hiding/taking my stuff?). I sometimes feel like Kevin Kline in French Kiss at the 'You people make my ass twitch' part. Hilarious, but true. My symptoms are heightened first thing in the morning, when all I want to do is stare out the window with my cup of tea in hand and scowl at the dark dark sky (It's so dark at 6 a.m.) I'm usually not like this. What's wrong with me??
You know when kids are extra exhausting it's because they are either growing or going through some massive brain development? Maybe it's like that and I'm gonna come out the other side of this very wise and funny (and if you're listening God, skinny and better looking). We will see.
Another thing I'm wondering is if my old person 'tude' is due to lack of sleep or 'The Funk'. 'The Funk', by the way, comes from loosing someone you love so much it hurts when you think of them. I'm sure 'The Funk' will not be here forever but I fear I will forever be just a little bit darker.
Maybe that is all part of being OLD.
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