Mums the Word

You new moms are so adorable!  You care about everything, worry about everything and are so easily overwhelmed.  I love it as much as I love that new baby smell. Welcome to the fraternity called Motherhood.  Why not sorority you say?  Oh because in a sorority, freshmen are revered and doted on.  Fraternity's on the other hand, make their freshman earn it! When I think of what you're in for, I smile.  Why? Because all of us sustainers have had to suffer through our 'freshmen year'.  We lure you new pledges in with fun stories of our precious moments and playgroups and then, BAM, you're up all night with a screaming baby and a husband who can't hear a damn thing.  It may or may not be instinct.  You will argue about this. Anyways, unlike seniors in a fraternity, we seasoned moms are here for you.  We will gladly lend a hand, give advice and that much needed pat on the back of encouragement.  No, no, it's not us you need to worry ...

So lately there has been a movement to tell moms to be more grateful.  'Treasure every moment!', 'It goes by so fast!', 'You'll wish you could go back when they are older!'  and my personal favorite 'These are the best days of your life.' These people that have such pearls of wisdom for your life don't have enough on their plate.  Are you currently in charge of keeping four small children off the street?  No? Then shut your face!  If someone can see you are in a personal storm and tells you 'These are the best days of your life', that person is an asshole. Here's the truth:  I am grateful.  I have four, beautiful, healthy, fairly happy but headstrong children. Raising them up, teaching them right from wrong and spending all my time with them can be rewarding.  I love them more than anything and I chose this life but here's the thing....it's hard as shit.  I think there is something to be said for living in the moment, I...

Crib. Check.  Stroller.  Check. Car seat.  Check.  Swing and/or bouncer. Check. What's next? Here's my list: 1.   Diaper bag .  The bigger the better.  Needs to fit your entire life in it.  Always have a least one change of baby clothes.  The second you step out the front door, they are going to have an up the back blow out.  It's fine.  Also consider the fact that they are only a baby for a little while and if you are going to spend crazy money on this you may want something you can use after the 'baby days'.  I had an OiOi and after four it was destroyed but I highly recommend. 2.  Bedding .  The only thing you really need is fitted sheets.  I said 'sheets', plural.  Get a few.  I recommend getting waterproof flannel crib pads.  They are easy to pull and wash, without having to wash entire fitted sheet.  I also like sleep sacks for babies once they are done with being swaddled. 3....

I'm watching my three year old twins run through an obstacle course at their gymnastics class.  The teacher is at one station helping them do backwards rolls and so not really paying attention to the rest of the class.  Part of the course includes hanging from a bar across a pit of foam blocks.  A little boy climbs out onto the bar and hangs there.  One of my girls climbs up next to the bar, leans across and peels his fingers back one by one until he screams and plummets into the pit.  Then she throws her head back, laughing hysterically, and cannon balls into the pit on top of him. This isn't the first time I've seen this type of thing.  One day at school a little boy told her not to touch a door.  Poor dear.  She looks him up and down, then walks across to 'the door' and starts rubbing it while flashing him a look that said, 'What this door??? Oh, I'm gonna touch THIS door all day long.  Why?  Because I can see it bothers you.'  ...

My seven year old loves butterflies so we did what many before us have done.  We got one of those butterfly kits, ordered larvae online and watched them grow.  She actually chose to do this as part of a science project for school and had a lot of fun with it.  We got four butterflies out of the deal which I feel pretty good about since we only started out with six caterpillars.  I believe their names WERE:  Flip, Flutter, Fly and Stacy.  Uh, ya. Little did I know this would go south fast.  Slowly, one by one, they died and my daughter was crushed every single time.  I had no idea the level of love that surrounded these bugs and work hard to bury my cynicism. They have a very short life span!  I try to explain that THIS is the life cycle of a butterfly.  Death is part of their very short life.  I try to comfort her and explained that God only made their bodies to last a week or two.  It's nobodies fault.  That's just the ...

It's a beautiful day so I decide to give the twins a pass on their nap since we've kind of been sporadically napping anyways.  They're 3.  I get it.  I'm talking to my sister-in-law overseas while watching the twins play outside through the window.  They have just been warned not to climb onto the tables or back of the deck when...what do I see??: One of them climbing up the back of the deck!!!  Before I can even knock on the window to say 'get down' one twin pushes the other one and they go head over heals off the back.  It's only a 4 foot drop, into rocks!  I'm immediately running and cursing at the same time.  As I jump the deck in my too tight jeans and scoop them up, I'm amazed to find no harm done other than some scratches.  Thank God.  I was expecting a trip to the ER. I decide we ALL need some quiet time and send them both upstairs to take a nap while finishing a few things downstairs, including getting their blankets they peed...

I have always been a procrastinator.  In college, I would always wait until the day before a paper/test then cram as much useless knowledge into my brain as humanly possible in an unbelievably short window of time. Why?  Because when you don't really want to do something, you tend to push it down the list until you are forced to deal with it.  Then you do what you have to do and it's over.  In the end you feel a great sense of relief, maybe even accomplishment. Procrastinating as a parent is a bit different.  There's so many things you don't want to do that it's hard to decide which things to ignore.  When you finally defeat your indecisiveness and do what needs to be done, instead of feeling that relief, you have that foreboding sense that you will be doing it again tomorrow and deja vu that you were just doing it yesterday. This is what happens when you ignore the laundry for a day.     One DAY! Where did it all come fr...