Motherhood: Welcome To The Club Freshman Frat Boy
You new moms are so adorable! You care about everything, worry about everything and are so easily overwhelmed. I love it as much as I love that new baby smell.
Welcome to the fraternity called Motherhood. Why not sorority you say? Oh because in a sorority, freshmen are revered and doted on. Fraternity's on the other hand, make their freshman earn it!
When I think of what you're in for, I smile. Why? Because all of us sustainers have had to suffer through our 'freshmen year'. We lure you new pledges in with fun stories of our precious moments and playgroups and then, BAM, you're up all night with a screaming baby and a husband who can't hear a damn thing. It may or may not be instinct. You will argue about this.
Anyways, unlike seniors in a fraternity, we seasoned moms are here for you. We will gladly lend a hand, give advice and that much needed pat on the back of encouragement. No, no, it's not us you need to worry about. Your new bundle of joy will do the hazing for us. Not only will you endure the sleepless nights, but your new baby will hose you with an array of bodily fluids that will make fraternity initiations seem clean. You will go through such a beating it will make labor look like a paper cut at a WWF Smack Down. I'm talking, hair pulling, head to the nose, fingers in the eye and teeth to your nipple smack down. It's literally a right of passage to be deliberately smacked in the face by your baby. I remember my own first baby bitch-slap like it was yesterday. It hurt. It hurt bad.
We don't tell you this until it's too late, partly because we have a sick sense of humor, but mostly because we need new recruits. Let's face it, if you have a job and care about your children's future....you owe it to society to reproduce. The good news is you're in and it will be awesome when you make it through. We will all be bonded together in this thing we call motherhood and the bonds are strong. Newbies that struggle together will make friendships that last a lifetime and regardless of commonalities you will be able to talk to just about anyone if they are on 'team mom'.
So...Welcome. We love you. Hang in there. Don't be mad as we smile smugly. Think of it as us remembering everything WE have had to overcome and how eventually, your suffering will bring us closer together.
By the way your freshmen year last from years 0-4 and then it's just a different kind of hard.
Love ya!!
Welcome to the fraternity called Motherhood. Why not sorority you say? Oh because in a sorority, freshmen are revered and doted on. Fraternity's on the other hand, make their freshman earn it!
When I think of what you're in for, I smile. Why? Because all of us sustainers have had to suffer through our 'freshmen year'. We lure you new pledges in with fun stories of our precious moments and playgroups and then, BAM, you're up all night with a screaming baby and a husband who can't hear a damn thing. It may or may not be instinct. You will argue about this.
Anyways, unlike seniors in a fraternity, we seasoned moms are here for you. We will gladly lend a hand, give advice and that much needed pat on the back of encouragement. No, no, it's not us you need to worry about. Your new bundle of joy will do the hazing for us. Not only will you endure the sleepless nights, but your new baby will hose you with an array of bodily fluids that will make fraternity initiations seem clean. You will go through such a beating it will make labor look like a paper cut at a WWF Smack Down. I'm talking, hair pulling, head to the nose, fingers in the eye and teeth to your nipple smack down. It's literally a right of passage to be deliberately smacked in the face by your baby. I remember my own first baby bitch-slap like it was yesterday. It hurt. It hurt bad.
We don't tell you this until it's too late, partly because we have a sick sense of humor, but mostly because we need new recruits. Let's face it, if you have a job and care about your children's future....you owe it to society to reproduce. The good news is you're in and it will be awesome when you make it through. We will all be bonded together in this thing we call motherhood and the bonds are strong. Newbies that struggle together will make friendships that last a lifetime and regardless of commonalities you will be able to talk to just about anyone if they are on 'team mom'.
So...Welcome. We love you. Hang in there. Don't be mad as we smile smugly. Think of it as us remembering everything WE have had to overcome and how eventually, your suffering will bring us closer together.
By the way your freshmen year last from years 0-4 and then it's just a different kind of hard.
Love ya!!
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