Pagan Shrines

So I'm torn.  My initial hope for this blog was to be a light hearted, funny take on life with four kids because let's face it, if we didn't laugh, we'd cry....or at least loose the will to live.  So, I'm a bit torn on taking on a real subject.  Life can be too real sometimes and much too serious, blah!  However ultimately, we need to be able to dig deep and address the hard stuff.  I still think it's important to find humor where you can but the more I live, the more difficult I find it to brush off the real subjects.
For instance:  Am I a good mom?  Don't answer, it's rhetorical and I don't need you to affirm me.  It's this subject that resonates with all of us:  Am I doing a good job?
I chose to be a mom and one that stays at home which means this is my full-time, life defining roll.  Am I giving it my all and where am I falling short?  My list of NEEDS IMPROVEMENT seems to follow me everywhere, but what am I doing about it?  I think we all want to stop loosing our temper, spend more one on one time with the kids and focus on the difficult things: like building a good enough foundation of self-esteem and humility to weather the storm of adulthood.  Don't ever grow up babies!!!
So how do we help our children to be the best they can be while simultaneously removing obstacles that will block the path to enlightenment?  What's that?  You just were just worried about what to make for dinner.  I like a good platter of help yourself.  You're welcome!  Now, on to the children's further.
My seven year old was in the front seat the other day, don't turn me in to social services---she's nearly eight and fulfills height and weight requirements!  She turned on the music, my music and I found myself skipping every song because it was 'inappropriate'.  She turned to me and asked, 'Mommy, when we all get out of the car, do you listen to the 'inappropriate' music.  Why is it inappropriate for me but not for you?'  My inner monologue immediately became defensive saying, 'Because it reminds me of a time when I wasn't accountable to a seven year old!'  But it did make me think.
In what areas of my life am I making allowances for things that aren't okay?
We watch way too much TV, listen to some pop music, game (Minecraft), we are lazy about meals and therefore make some bad choices (see above comment) and sometimes all of the above without limits because it is easier to let it go than to take a stand.  I mean, I limit WHAT they watch so hopefully they will just turn into mindless drones, not sassy aggressive bad-mouth delinquents.  And what's another thirty minutes on the i-pad if I can get a shower in???  It's all fun and games until one of the kids has a huge meltdown in Target over the fact that I won't buy them one of the Minecraft plush dolls that they simply have to have because they love him, to the point of tears.  Obsessed much?  I stood my ground but felt the need to reassess how invested we are in these games and make believe characters.
On days such as the one above I've been known to have a drink.  Shocking, right?  I feel it is a form of medication for this season of life.  Is it wrong?  I don't know but I sat down with a cup of tea for a nice girlie chat with my oldest the other day and she says 'Is there alcohol in that?'  Incensed, I answered, 'No, it's tea, it's right before bed and mommy doesn't really drink alcohol.'  She looked at me thoughtfully and said 'Isn't there alcohol in wine?'  Boom.  There it is.  I'm going to have to get rid of my oldest because she's turning into a bit of a Judge Judy.  I know she's heard me say it.  'I need a glass of wine!'  I admit that I've answered the question of why with, 'Because life is hard.'  Am I selling the idea that drinking makes life easier?  I hope not!  But more importantly, am I paving the way for something I don't want, like an adult addiction or some other bump in the road of life.  We are all in bondage to something.  At this moment in my life, I'm possibly battling an unhealthy addiction to my phone and act like the world has come to an end when I can't find it.  I won't justify it, at least not in this piece.  The kids see it all though.  We are the example.  I am their example!!!  Is anyone else terrified???
I don't think that who we are as adults is all on our parents.  People have choices and choices have consequences but its our job as parents to set up a solid foundation, point in the right direction, throw in a good moral compass and reflect on the best procedure to accomplish these goals.
The ultimate question is:  What am I, or who am I allowing my kids to worship?
2 Kings 15: 34-35 (Ya, I just got biblical, deal with it) states that Jotham was a good king and did what was pleasing in the eyes of the Lord but he did not tear down the pagan shrines.  I imagined he, like myself, didn't want to cause a conflict or the hard work that went with breaking habit.  Maybe there were even aspects of a pagan life he enjoyed, I don't know.  Maybe he was just very liberal and wanted everyone to be okay with everything, I never met him.  Anyways, because he didn't tear down the shrines, the empire became corrupt.  So what about this world am I making allowances for and what should I be tearing down to avoid raising up an evil empire?  Are my minions going to be helpers or hurters (I don't care if it's not a real word!)?  I'm not judging, I'm self assessing.  Our pagan shrines may not be your pagan shrines but I feel the need to reflect and improve.  The reason none of this is appealing is because it's a lot of work.  Hard work requires time and discipline, neither of which most of us have a lot of.  I mean just thinking about it makes me what to take a nap and without the i-pad that will be impossible.
I just know that anything worth having is worth working for.  I don't have all the answers or even a plan.  I'm not going to pretend to.  I can work harder on the example I am setting but inevitably will fall short myself.  But honesty in our downfalls and the ability to deliver empirical truth could be our saving.  The TRUTH, has been and and always will be.
Life is a platter of help yourself and I need to detail our options.  Pagan shrines.....you are the glutenous MSG ridden e-numbers hiding amongst the buffet.

Now what's for dinner????