Secret Geniuses
OMG--My baby just said 'Hippopautamaus!' Never mind their inability to do anything else, they are a genius. Better get them into the 'good' classes now.
I was reading a parenting magazine one day, out of boredom, and came across this interesting fact: 80% of parents think their children are advanced.
This subsequently became a joke between my husband and I. Whenever the kids did anything we would say, 'Oh, they're so advanced!' The greatest moment is when we are lucky enough to be in the same room when someone says this and means it.
We have four kids under six now and it takes a lot to impress us. I'm not saying their firsts aren't amazing but with your first baby you have no reference point. Once you've lived this life for awhile you know all the kids are doing it and if they aren't, they will be.
If they really wanted to impress me they would eat without spilling and use the toilet! Just saying. A lot of the things parents discuss and compare in the early days are milestones like walking and talking. However, some of the things have absolutely nothing to do with your kid being advanced at all, such as what kind of sleeper they are, what kind of foods they like, or my favorite, how big they are. Percentages are huge in the parent bragging world. This has nothing to do with anything but genetics (unless your slipping your toddler some sort of protein shake) but bigger is better, especially here in the States, and we like to talk about it. I secretly wonder if my butter ball children would have horrified people in another country. Like would I have been shunned in China??
Anyways, lets go back to the walking and talking milestones and go out on a limb and say your child is advanced. They are a 'secret genius' or 'secret evil geniuses' in the case of my 22 month old twins. What now? Do you flood them with Baby Genius, music/gym classes and flash cards trying to maximize the perceived potential. Was that sarcasm? Ask your genius toddler that just pointed to a dog and said 'woof woof'.
Let me just throw this out there, what do you want for your kid? Because genius's don't have friends. My cousin always says, 'I'd rather be fun than smart any day'. And if it means being happy and having people you can relate to--I'd agree. Granted, I don't want them to be idiots but like many of your own children you will have days where they are both. They are just kids and I like to joke that were shooting for KU not Harvard.
I don't mind people that think their kid is smarter than anyone elses kid (cue eye roll)---The problem is we've all secretly judged and take pride in some small thing that our kid has done well comparatively. Why? Because we want some sort of sign. A sign that they are going to do well---and not be living in our basement in 18 years. A sign that we are doing something right because our kids behavior and abilities are perceived to have a direct correlation with our parenting. When you have numerous children you realize how flawed that actually is but it somehow still matters.
The bottom line is, we all have that secret good feeling when our kids do things earlier and better than their peers. That Nah Nah Nah Nah Boo Boo competitive attitude (technical term) because this is some sort of competition?? We may see a strong willed child and think 'I'm so glad that kid is not mine'. Well that kid could be president and your overly mellow child could become a stoner that works in a sandwich shop. I meant for that to be a comparison where there was a clear winner but I'm not so sure that worked out. Anyways, bottom line, part two: Your child is probably not a genius and try not to judge because there are no winners or prizes. As a parent all you can do is your best and hope it all works out and as my dad always said, 'Good or bad? Who knows?'
I was reading a parenting magazine one day, out of boredom, and came across this interesting fact: 80% of parents think their children are advanced.
This subsequently became a joke between my husband and I. Whenever the kids did anything we would say, 'Oh, they're so advanced!' The greatest moment is when we are lucky enough to be in the same room when someone says this and means it.
We have four kids under six now and it takes a lot to impress us. I'm not saying their firsts aren't amazing but with your first baby you have no reference point. Once you've lived this life for awhile you know all the kids are doing it and if they aren't, they will be.
If they really wanted to impress me they would eat without spilling and use the toilet! Just saying. A lot of the things parents discuss and compare in the early days are milestones like walking and talking. However, some of the things have absolutely nothing to do with your kid being advanced at all, such as what kind of sleeper they are, what kind of foods they like, or my favorite, how big they are. Percentages are huge in the parent bragging world. This has nothing to do with anything but genetics (unless your slipping your toddler some sort of protein shake) but bigger is better, especially here in the States, and we like to talk about it. I secretly wonder if my butter ball children would have horrified people in another country. Like would I have been shunned in China??
Anyways, lets go back to the walking and talking milestones and go out on a limb and say your child is advanced. They are a 'secret genius' or 'secret evil geniuses' in the case of my 22 month old twins. What now? Do you flood them with Baby Genius, music/gym classes and flash cards trying to maximize the perceived potential. Was that sarcasm? Ask your genius toddler that just pointed to a dog and said 'woof woof'.
Let me just throw this out there, what do you want for your kid? Because genius's don't have friends. My cousin always says, 'I'd rather be fun than smart any day'. And if it means being happy and having people you can relate to--I'd agree. Granted, I don't want them to be idiots but like many of your own children you will have days where they are both. They are just kids and I like to joke that were shooting for KU not Harvard.
I don't mind people that think their kid is smarter than anyone elses kid (cue eye roll)---The problem is we've all secretly judged and take pride in some small thing that our kid has done well comparatively. Why? Because we want some sort of sign. A sign that they are going to do well---and not be living in our basement in 18 years. A sign that we are doing something right because our kids behavior and abilities are perceived to have a direct correlation with our parenting. When you have numerous children you realize how flawed that actually is but it somehow still matters.
The bottom line is, we all have that secret good feeling when our kids do things earlier and better than their peers. That Nah Nah Nah Nah Boo Boo competitive attitude (technical term) because this is some sort of competition?? We may see a strong willed child and think 'I'm so glad that kid is not mine'. Well that kid could be president and your overly mellow child could become a stoner that works in a sandwich shop. I meant for that to be a comparison where there was a clear winner but I'm not so sure that worked out. Anyways, bottom line, part two: Your child is probably not a genius and try not to judge because there are no winners or prizes. As a parent all you can do is your best and hope it all works out and as my dad always said, 'Good or bad? Who knows?'
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